Does your beloved child have special needs?
The intimidating amount of stress that falls on the parents’ laps is beyond imaginable. You may try your hardest not to let it show, but we know that life has not been stress-free for you. If they cry for no definite reason, it breaks your heart. When they throw a feat, and you cannot control them, you may merely want to bawl as well.
Their care requirements increase as they age as well. If they only wanted to play, eat and sleep while they were young, they need extra attention once they reach puberty or adulthood. It’s also possible that the psychiatrist will recommend therapy for the treatment, which may drain your time and savings at the same time.
Children with autism vary greatly in their symptoms. However, many children with autism may have a rigidity in their behaviors in that they may need things to be a specific way. — Heather Gilmore, MSW, BCBA
In the face of all of that, how can your marriage survive?
- Go On Dates
The child may have special needs, but you can still leave them to a close family member or friend for a few hours each week and go out without them. That will give you an opportunity to maintain or rebuild your connection with your spouse.
The idea may invoke some guilty feelings in the beginning, but you’ll later realize that there’s no need to worry about them 24/7. It may help the kid learn how to become independent, which is essential for children of all ages.
- Set Priorities Straight
A union will also last long when your priorities are almost identical to that of your beloved from top to bottom. There will inevitably be tension in the house in case you solely prioritize your work and your significant other concentrates on the kids, or vice versa.
A practical solution for this matter is to plan one night in which you will sit down together to make your individual goals known. Even if you may compromise with the rankings, you have to ascertain that you’re both aware of one another’s objectives before you go to bed.
Many parents begin to feel upset and overwhelmed by the burden of not being able to be there to help their child. The feeling of urgency and the need to get to their children to help them through the meltdown is often all these parents can think of. — Bridgette Montgomery, LCSW
- Avoid Blaming Each Other
The most pointless thing that arguing couples tend to do is to blame a mistake entirely on their better half. Although there may be occasions wherein the accusation is valid, you should focus on resolving the error immediately. In this manner, you have more free hours to do fruitful stuff, such as looking after your children, bonding, working together, etc.
- Make Time For Yourself
For a marriage to survive, your sense of individuality should not go away. Assuming you strengthen that by going out with your friends, shopping alone, or going on a retreat, so be it. That is how you ensure that the decisions you make are stable and that no one is getting swayed by the other person.
- TalkAbout Indifferences
When your offspring requires extra attention, there’s no room for arguments in the household. If you as much as entertain the thought of staying angry at your significant other for more than a day, it won’t have positive effects on your family. Worse, it may affect the kids and cause them to act up.
In case you do not agree on something, therefore, talk about it right at that moment. Yelling never solves a thing, remember that. If compromising is not an option, then you can leave the matter behind and look for another possibility that you’ll both want.
When parents are dealing with their own issues as a couple, their parenting typically becomes easier. The ability to make decisions, to react appropriately, and to set limits and boundaries for their children can be less stressful when they find support in one another. — Janeen Herskovitz, MA, LMHC
Your marriage can survive even if your child has autism, ASD, or other special needs. The dynamics may be a little different to what most families have, but it does not entail that your union will irreversibly suffer due to it. After all, the duration of your matrimony depends on how well you understand each other.